Lyrics:
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Oh, I'm just a typical American boy
From a typical American town,
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
And a-keepin' old Castro down
And when it came my time to serve
I knew "better dead than red",
But when I got to my old draft board, buddy, this is what I said:
Chorus:
Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse.
I got eyes like a bat
And my feet are flat
And my asthma's getting worse.
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear
And my poor old invalid aunt.
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school
And I'm working in a defense plant.
I've got a dislocated disc and a racked up back
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I got the weakness woes, I can't touch my toes
I can hardly reach my knees
And if the enemy came close to me
I'd probably start to sneeze
Chorus
Ooh, I hate Chou En Lai, and I hope he dies
But I think you gotta see
That someone's gotta go over there
And that someone isn't me.
So I wish you well, Sarge, give 'em Hell!
Go and kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore,
I'll be the first to go.
Chorus
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