Lyrics:
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A Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than his share
He staggered round until he could no longer keep his feet
Then stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.
Chorus:
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle e i o
last line of the preceeding verse
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by,
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
"You see yon sleeping Scotsman so stong and manly built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't tear beneath their kilt."
They crept up to the sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
They lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment then one said "We'd best be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie spar the Scot's kilt did lift and show
The Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbles toward a tree.
Behind a bush he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees.
Then in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
"Och! Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
Ring ding diddle diddle i de o
Ring di diddle i o
"Och! Lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize"
Additional verses:
Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, continued up the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more, when a lass he chanced to meet.
She said: "I've heard what's underneath there, tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass, if y'really want to know!"
So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, and much to her surprise,
The Scotsman smiled, and a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" and then she heard him roar:
"If you stick yer hand up once again, you'll find it grew some more!"
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